Positive Self Improvement and Motivation

Of the many questions you ask yourself every day, one question is by far more important than all of the rest put together. It is a powerful question that will bring clarity, motivation and purpose to your whole existence.

The question is simply this: What do I want from life Providing a clear, precise answer brings total focus to your life.. But very few people can. Why

I meet many people through my professional and social lives and what amazes me is that very few of them can answer this question. Most of them answer in abstract terms, such as:

I want money. Lots of money. I want to be happy I want a beautiful house I want a sports car I just want to meet someone, fall in love and settle down I DON'T REALLY KNOW

Amazingly, the last one is the most common. And the problem with all of the above answers is that they aren't really answers at all. Because none of them give a specific, precise answer.

Just why do so few people know precisely what they want from life There are a number of reasons, here's just 3 of the more common:

Number one on our list is FEAR. To know precisely what you want out of life means you have to go and get it. You have to take action, make changes and work hard to manifest your desires into reality. You cant hide behind abstracts any longer. This stark truth and the changes needed can be frightening. But you must see the whole process of getting what you want as enjoyable and rewarding and not as a threat. Next on our list is HARD WORK. Identifying exactly what you want from life requires quite a bit of effort. And of course, if you want to achieve your goals, you have to work hard by investing time and toil every day. Many people simply arent prepared to put in a significant effort to get what they want. Are you

The last reason is MINDSET. The vast majority of people have the mindset that life is something that happens to them. I call this bumbling and it is why people cannot provide a precise answer to our question and answer with abstracts instead. Fate, kismet, what happens, happens are the core beliefs here. But to get what you want, you have to make things happen in your life. This is living by design and it is important to have this core belief if you are to achieve your objectives.

So schedule at least half an hour each day to think about what, exactly, you want from life. Don't let fear be your guide in this. Take the time and write down EXACT objectives. For example:

If you want a house, specify the type, the location, the price, features, number of rooms etc. If you want a car, what make, what model What color Specification If you want to meet someone to start a relationship, how will they look Blond Dark Tall Personality type Shy, extrovert, strong When it comes to money, how much do you want How much will you need to help you get what you want

Get the idea The more detail you can provide the better. If you cannot provide detailed, specific answers to the question, you will be more likely to bumble through life HOPING to get what you want instead of CREATING AND ATTRACTING what you want.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with bumbling - unless you want to live an empowered life!

Time for me to sign off, but before I go, let me leave you with this:

Most people are on a journey to nowhere in particular and are shocked when they eventually realize they've arrived there.

It's your life. Think about it!

Author Christopher Green

Over half of all adults identify themselves as shy. Shyness can get in the way of developing personal relationships and professional aspirations.

Some people are afraid to simply walk into a room and surround themselves with strangers. Some shy people hate eating in front of others and some hate parties or other types of social occasions.

The fact is that there are many ways to beat shyness if you have the desire and the willpower.

Shyness is more common than most people realize. Shy people are not necessarily introverts, some are extroverts who happen to be shy.

If shyness is keeping you from advancing in your career or maintaining personal relationships, there are various ways to beat shyness and become the outgoing person you would like to be.

1.-- Realizing that shyness is a problem for you is the first step in overcoming it. List your good qualities and enjoy the fact that you have many good points that can help you overcome your shyness problem.

Pick one thing you'd like to change about yourself and focus on that one thing until you succeed in making positive changes.

Systematically dealing with one issue at a time will help you become the person you want to be and overcome your shyness.

2.-- Each day identify one thing you can do to help yourself overcome shyness. It can be a simple thing like making eye contact with the clerk at your local grocery store or striking up a conversation with a stranger on the bus.

You do not have to execute your plan perfectly every day. Just continue to take baby steps and reward yourself along the way for each obstacle you overcome.

3.-- Sometimes its not really shyness that is the problem. Occasionally a lack of social skills lead people to believe they are shy when in reality they just do not have the tools and knowledge to develop appropriate social behaviors.

If a lack of social skills is keeping your self-esteem low and making your life miserable, search for one of the many sources of information that are designed to help you develop your social skills and overcome shyness.

There are many informative publications that deal with these issues and you may find just the right tips on ways to beat shyness that will allow you to alleviate your social discomfort, expand your circle of friends, and support professional advancement.

4.-- There are numerous ways to beat shyness and not every suggestion or idea will work for everyone. Find the tools that are the most helpful to you personally and use these tools to the best of your ability.

Overcoming shyness will not happen instantly or overnight. It takes perseverance and a desire to succeed if you truly want to overcome shyness and learn to interact easily and naturally with other people.

Shyness often causes a person to withdraw from society altogether. Do not let shyness rule your life. Start slowly and make small changes each step of the way.

You will be able to see your progress with each negative personality trait you change into a positive one. Soon enough all the effort you put into changing your life will become evident to not only you, but to all those around you.

In this article we discuss how unwanted behaviors can be eliminated in an NLP technique called a Swish Pattern. This technique is also employed by hypnotherapists, and can be used to round off sessions regarding weight loss and smoking.

1. Create a picture in your mind of the behavior you no longer want to have.

Using this picture you can already begin to make changes to the way you feel about the unwanted behavior. Notice what happens when you dull the color in the picture or move it further away. Changing the fine details (Sub-modalities) can remove the emotional content that is programmed in your mind to associate to that picture.

2. Create a picture of a new empowering alternative.

This is a picture of a new behavior that will replace the old behavior. See yourself in this picture (dissociated). This is so that when your brain views it, it sees it as something you wish to achieve. If you're looking through your own eyes in the picture (associated), your mind may believe that you have already achieved the desired behavior and will not provide you with an adequate level of motivation to achieve it.

3. Make the change as quickly as Swish!

Put the picture of the unwanted behavior on a big screen in your mind. Then in the lower left hand corner, make the picture of the desired behavior. As quickly as you can say swish, move the picture of the desired behavior over and in front of the picture of the unwanted behavior, covering it completely, then open your eyes. Do this process several times, until you feel unable to recall the picture of the unwanted behavior or the feelings that went with it.

As you repeat the process, do so very quickly. The key to this technique is to confuse the old wiring in your mind with the use of the speed at which you change the pictures.

Subliminal messages are basically suggestions for you mind which are exposed on you for such a short period of time, or hidden, that your mind does not consciously register what it suggests. Instead, you register it sub-consciously. And also, they can be either positive or negative.

In this article, I will tell you about 2 different ways through which you can create your own custom subliminal messages. The best way to prove to you that subliminal messages work is through an experience you have most likely already had. I am sure you have been in a crowded room with many animated conversations happening all around you. Now, if someone calls out your name, you would still most likely be able to hear it, wouldn't you.

The first method I will tell you about is subliminal audios. The great thing about this method is that you can use them anywhere and everywhere, unlike the other method I will tell you about next. These audios usually come with either binaural beats or very relaxing music. The messages are repeated so fast, that our conscious mind has no idea what it suggests. You can get pre-made and also custom subliminal audios.

The second method is the one of flashing messages on your computer or movie screen. Here again, the messages are repeated so fast that your conscious mind does not have time to even read them. You would have probably heard stories of the government and large companies using them in advertisements etc. Advertising this way was even banned by the US government around 40 years ago!In todays expanding computer era, you can get softwares which display subliminal messages on your screen while you are working on it. You can choose and personalize the messages before they are even displayed too.

So there you have it! You now know of 2 different ways through which you can create your own custom subliminal messages. I hope this article was of use to you.

Whether you're a student job seeker or a polished and proven executive, the first thing you must come to terms with is, Regardless of the position you seek, you are now in sales! The product you are selling is YOU! The interview is your opportunity to differentiate yourself in the eyes of your customer [the interviewer] when compared to your competitors [other job applicants].

Successful companies today are focused on building whats known as, corporate Unique Value-Add Propositions. Simply put, a unique value proposition is designed to differentiate companies / products and services, by making a decision to do business with you, an easy one. This is accomplished by means of removing the risk in customers minds through obvious value-add.

So before you go into an interview, ask yourself, What is my unique Value-add for this company What can I say, do, or show, that will separate me from all other candidates And, How convincing am I

There is no secret that in many cases today, the most qualified, are not always the ones hired. Sadly, many qualified individuals lose out on opportunities expressly due to their inability to distinguish themselves [in the interview] by showing unique value-add. You may then ask, How does one construct a value-add interview The process is surprisingly simple.

#1: As quickly as you can, write down all the words that describe your unique strengths that relate to the position to which you're applying. [Note: Five words are not enough. Try for at least fifteen / you may also ask others for their input].

#2: As quickly as you can, write down all the words that describe your potential weaknesses as they relate to the position to which you're applying.

#3: Turn each word into a sentence or statement. It does not have to be complicated. For example, if one of your strength-words was, experience you could simply say, I am experienced. [Note: Do the same for your weaknesses list as well].

#4: Take each sentence / statement, and turn them into a question. I am experienced becomes, Why am I experienced

To answer the question, Why am I experienced automatically brings to light your real Value-Add. From a selling point of view, being experienced may be true, but it is only, however, a fact. How specifically, am I experienced, and, How it will therefore benefit the new company, is the real Risk-Removing, Unique-Value-Add-Information needed to showcase your talents.

Knowing the answers, ahead of time, to questions like, Why is [this] a potential weakness for me - for this position is equally integral to the success of any interview.

Remember that in business, The degree to which you cannot provide a unique Value-Add Proposition is in direct proportion to the degree you hurt yourself, your company and your industry. In any job interview, You are the company. The product you're selling is YOU!

Ask anyone in New Orleans, LA or Gulfport, MS about fear and they will give you an ear full. It was one year ago this month that fear stared me in the face. That fear was also a mammoth hurricane packing over 100 mph winds, and was projected to hit the city where my family lives in Florida. Three weeks later, just after getting used to having electricity again, another fear came knocking. This fear was another hurricane, tracking the same path as the previous one. However, this storm was bigger and much more powerful. The fear of the unknown as affecting us all.

Fear. We have all experienced it, and to some degree are controlled by it. How do I know this about you Think back to when you were a kid. At some point you probably didn't like to go in dark rooms or walk down dark streets where scary sounds seemed to come with every step. The feeling you felt then will cause you to reach for the light switch today. Or how about when you asked that special person out on a date and he or she all but laughed in your face and said, Not on your life.

Fear. What is it Some basic definitions could be: reverence or being afraid. But the type of fear that this article is referring to is the fear of discomfort or pain. Most of us will avoid pain at all costs.

What does this have to do with leadership Good question. Your past experiences, both good and bad, will determine the way you lead. In my 20+ years of leadership experience, I have found that there are at least four common fears that affect even the most seasoned leader. More than likely, at least one of these fears affects you each and every time you relate to a person on a leadership level.

Before, you read these fears, please prepare your mind to read them openly and honestly. This article is not meant to delve deeply into the psychology of each fear, but to share how they influence you as a leader. The fears I see most often in the lives of leaders are:

1. Rejection.

I have never met a person that likes to be rejected. Leaders that have had bad experiences with rejection will guard themselves from being rejected. Most often I see this as the turtle syndrome. The leader is afraid to stick his head out of the shell and take a risk, develop a new program, hire a new employee, or ask someone to take on a certain task. As a leader you have to realize that there are risks involved, and those risks come with rejection. Having an idea rejected is a hard thing to experience, especially if this is one of your fears. As a leader you must stop, look at your options, decide on what to do, and then take action.

2. Loss of control.

This fear is often seen in powerful personality types. This is not to say that the leader is a control freak, but control is a comfort zone to this person. The fear of losing control is displayed in a leadership style often called micromanagement. In other words, the leader is afraid to delegate responsibilities because if things get out of control he will not be able to take corrective action fast enough. What you must realize is that you are in control of very little. Life is basically out of your control. Managing people with a strong, controlling hand will not allow them to take on new problems nor will it challenge them to make progress in areas where they have never been before.

3. Employee dependence.

We all depend on people, from our families, to our doctors, to the garbage collectors that pick up our trash on a regular basis. Employee dependence is a fear that is much deeper than simply depending on someone. The fear comes each day when the leader senses that something may be wrong with his key person. The leader then begins to wonder about the loyalty of this person. The leader often begins to ask mental questions like, What if this person quits How would I make it without him What can I do to make sure she is happy in her job What will my boss do if this person goes over my head with a problem On and on the questions go. The grip of this fear is strong, but must be eliminated. As the old saying says, If you hold on too tight, it will slip through your fingers.

4. Financial challenges.

Take a day this week and go to your local bookstore and count how many books are written on financial matters. You will probably find that there are more books on this one subject than any other. Leaders are always facing challenges, but financial fears have a way of gripping like no other. New programs or ventures take capital. Employees needed to expand and grow increases the salary budget. Additional equipment to increase overall efficiency requires funds to be spent. The strength of financial fears often causes the leader to begin accepting the status quo; and will often cause the leader to give up on his dreams.

These are four fears that I often see in leaders. I encourage you to plan some time in your schedule this week and think through this. If you find that one, or more, of these fears have a grip on your life then allow your mind to reveal the root cause. Finding the root cause today will begin a healing process that will result in you being a better leader tomorrow.

Do you remember your parents asking you what you want to be when you grow up By the time I was in the 9th grade, my mother started asking me that same question until I graduated from high school. At that time I wasn't 100% sure what career path I would take, but I had several ideas.

Your calling is that passion that you have deep inside the career that defines your purpose in life. Someone once told me if you find a job that you love you'll never have to work a day in your life. Some of us work in careers for so long that we are numb on the inside and outside. We go from appointment to appointment and our days are so mundane. We hardly get any enjoyment out of what we do because it is just another job. Have you recently said, I could do this job with my eyes closed
People who choose a career, instead of their calling, wake up disappointed that they have to go to work. They hate facing another day. If you find your calling and pursue it, life will become an adventure and not just another job.
Ponder over these statements:

Your passion directs you to your calling.

A calling is who you are.
A career is what you do.

A calling is 24-7-365.
A career is a 9 to 5.

A calling is what you would do for free.
A career is what they have to pay you to do.

A calling cannot be measured with money or fame.

In conclusion, take a few moments to ponder over what is going on in your life today and figure out if it compensates towards your calling. Listen to your mind, body and soul. Don't worry about what others will think or even if they will agree to whatever calling you move towards. Live your life as if tomorrow is your last day on Earth. Enjoy today because tomorrow isn't definite.

If you are like me you have probably lost a lot of sleep over the many problems that arise in your life. Sometimes, the problem seems too huge. I become immobilized by the fear. That leads to procrastination and guilt for my inactivity and Presto! My stress level goes through the roof.

Just thinking of the word "problem" is enough to raise my blood pressure.

That is the true power of words! What you put in your mind has an immediate effect on your metabolism. The mind and body are not opposites; they have always been inseparable parts of one amazing organism: You!

So, problems get in the way of positive constructive action. Problems seem bigger than you. They can be ugly and mean and so distracting. You could pass up wonderful opportunities to enjoy yourself because you are too wrapped up in your troubles. You may be living a dark future that probably won't happen. The present moments slip by unnoticed and that's not a good thing!

It's time to stop having problems. It's time to slay the Boogeyman under the bed! How do I do that Well, if you are willing to invest a little mental discipline, there is a very simple technique to follow.

Here it is:

Whenever you find yourself dwelling on some difficulty in your life, ask yourself: Is this a problem or a challenge Make the right choice. Choose to view it as a challenge.

A challenge is like a contest or a test. It brings out your competitive nature, it inspires action and most importantly a challenge is a contest you can win!

A Problem is tons of emotional baggage.

A Challenge is an Opportunity to enrich your life.

Remember what I said about the mind/body connection Which phrase makes you feel more uncomfortable: "serious money problems" or "financial challenges"

Whenever you hit the next bump in the road you have a choice: Fill your self with needless stress and anxiety and welcome a new "problem" into your life, or you can say-"Yes! I accept the challenge. I accept the opportunity to improve myself, to strengthen my self-confidence, to grow from the experience and banish fears of unexpected change."

Life is change. Change can be awkward sometimes. We like to stay with the familiar by nature. When we resist life's changes we plant the seeds of problems. If we face our challenges we find fewer things to resist. We find ourselves in the "flow" of life and not caught up in a snag.

This one simple word swap has brought me a bucketful of peace of mind. I get stronger with every obstacle I surmount.

This might work for you, If you try. The question is: Are you up for a challenge?

Like it or not, we are all gladiators. We go to sleep and wake up in a social arena from which there is no escape. Challenge upon challenge confronts us, walls restrain us, and a mob of spectators mocks, sneers, or cheers us. Each and every day brings new battles whether we want them or not and whether we're up to them or not. Life forces us to face one skirmish after another - no choice in the matter.

What we can choose, though, is which kind of gladiator to be, victor or victim.

Being a victim in this social arena translates into having bad relationships.

Most people are victims - victims of their own perceptions.

That's because people don't develop and listen to their own unique, authentic self. Rather they allow their mental spectators - those little tyrants rattling around in their heads - to tell them second by second how to fight their battles, what they can and cannot do. These tyrants applaud and they hiss, they encourage and they discourage.

These mental spectators are the memories of the judgments of real-life people. For example, it's the memory of your aunt saying, "I hope you marry someone rich, because you're not going far on brains." It's the echo of your father growling, "You've got a back problem - no spine."

And their influence over your relationships can't be overestimated.

Millions of people accept the judgments of their mental spectators as the truth and, therefore, the mediocre results that come from believing those judgments.

With so many people living this way, the question becomes, is this the way I have to live Fortunately, the answer is not unless you want to.

Once you identify your mental spectators - and your interactions with them - you can move beyond victim and assume the role of victor.

What it takes are eight steps for getting command, eight steps you can apply to most any situation you want altered. You can positively influence your relationships, your employment options, any aspect of your life.

Let's look at the steps.

1. Define What Ails You.

Ask, what's my problem Am I a jealous weasel, troubled that others have what I want Am I ticked off most of the time Am I sad and whiny Anxiety ridden Moody All of the above Without this step, you're doomed. It will take personal courage, but you won't get results without identifying what ails you.

2. Discover the Effects.

Ask, how are my problems affecting my life Am I a lousy parent, a friendless dork, a backstabber, a slut, a drunk, a junkie Am I none of the above, but someone who is less than I could be This step requires absolute self-honesty, but the truth will help set you free.

3. Seek the Source.

Ask, from where are my problems coming Who are my real and my mental spectators What do my mental spectators look like, say, and do Exactly who or what is keeping me from taking command of my life This could be one of the most incredible experiences of your life. You will look into the abyss and see who is looking back.

4. Identify Your Role.

Ask, how am I contributing to my problems What is my responsibility in all this Did I decide to be a garbage disposal Do I beat myself to death trying to please others Do I expect things of myself that are unfair Do I treat myself as a friend or an enemy Do I allow my mental spectators to drive me to distraction, depression, anger, anxiety Recognizing your role in your own problems is a positive - but scary - step toward knowing yourself and gaining personal command.

5. State Your Desires.

Ask, what do I specifically want to do about my problems Do I want to be a doormat, a slut, a drunk, a friendless geek Or do I want to rule my mental spectators Do I want to stand up to a spectator, real or imagined, who puts me down Do I want to take command of my education, my bank account, my relationships Until you can actually list your desires in the order of their importance, you will be a victim. However, once you do this, you are on your way to being a victor.

6. Seek Options.

Ask, what are my options, and in what order should I place them What is the first option I should concentrate on The second one The third If you have a soul-sucking hangover most mornings, you might opt to give up your booze buddies for some real friends. Secondly, take the money you normally spend at bars and deposit it in a college fund for yourself or your kids. If, instead, you're a workaholic and you want to spend more time with your kids, then DO IT. Very few people on their deathbed have said, "If I could live life all over again, I'd spend more of it at work and less with people I love." Choices are involved here, but by weighing options and alternatives, and then making personal choices, you are taking command. Do this and you'll begin to gain real power.

7. Learn Winning Techniques.

Ask, how do I rule my real and my mental spectators Must I collapse in a heap when they point thumbs down How can I learn to take charge on every level and get a grip on my life There is no "magic" involved, but you might feel as if there is. Unlike a vanquished gladiator falling at the whim of spectators, you decide your own course.

8. Master Your Relationships.

Ask, what more can I do to master my relationships by strengthening myself and my perceptions How do I take command right now in developing my own identification and self-worth Congratulations! You're working on the one person in the entire world you can work on - YOU! And any improvements in yourself can't help but enrich your relationships with other people and the world around you.

Although this is only a brief overview of each of the eight steps for jump-starting your relationships and taking control of your life, you'd be amazed at how significant the effects of a few minor adjustments in perception can be.